Any relationship, especially marriage, comes with adjustments. There are many changes that come in the lives of the individual partners, which they need to work on together and figure out. One of the most pertinent things among them is splitting expenses.
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A 34-year-old newly married woman discovered that it was more difficult than she had expected when her 35-year-old husband apparently started taunting her over her share. She went on the popular subreddit, r/InsideIndianMarriage, to share her experience and ask suggestions from the community.
The trouble with splitting expenses
The original poster (OP) lived with her husband and his parents after their marriage. They are also accompanied by the nurse who looks after the OP’s in-laws and stays in the same apartment. Trouble with the spending began after the first few months of the wedding.
Initially, the couple came up with a system to share expenses, as the OP explained in her post: “In the first few months, husband was paying for rent and bills, and I was paying for food and maid and cook. But now he’s begun to ask me to pay more and has been taunting me, etc. I asked for an exact breakdown of expenses he’s paying for but it’s been months and he hasn’t yet shared it.”
Unable to come up with a solution, the OP resorted to asking netizens on Reddit who live with their in-laws about suggestions that would help her work out her family finances.
Redditors share their advice
Netizens on Reddit had a wide variety of opinions on the subject, since the topic is something that many people have personal experience with. For many, splitting expenses made no sense. They felt that couples become part of the same household and should pool their resources into a family fund.
As one person stated, “My husband and I don’t split expenses – idk (I don’t know) once you’re married, you’re one household. Everything is shared and one unit. We merged our bank accounts, and it’s allowed us to think better as a household vs my money vs his money. We each have our own CCs (cash credits), and we also don’t ask each other permission to spend money (unless it’s a big expense).”
“If you’re going to nickel and dime every transaction, you’re planting the seeds for tons of resentment,” they added.
Another echoed the sentiment, stating, “Nothing called ‘split expenses’ exists in my life. Jisko jo khrch karna hai kar deta hai jisko jo mangvana hai vo mangva leta hai, Jo Door open karta hai vo pay krta hai order kisi ka bhi q na ho (We order whatever we want and whoever opens the door pays, no matter whose stuff it is). These fancy words create boundaries in relationships.”
“Yes, pyaar mein sauda nahin. Mote taur par dono contribute karen (Don’t negotiate in love. Overall, both should contribute),” stated a third.
Yet another person had a more blunt take. “Marriages are becoming flat-sharing facilities nowadays,” they claimed. “Stop it before it’s too late. If you guys still insist on flatmates-ship, then have a joint account, contribute proportionally to your salary and pay from that account. On a serious note, look calmly and deeply if you want such a kind of relationship where there is no trust.”
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
