Instantly opting out. Another day, another Insta extra to deal with. Instants, from what we’ve seen, piles unfiltered, disappearing photos at the bottom of the screen, like trash. So far, we’ve seen banal breakfasts, more selfies and blurry photos of our friends’ rooms. Yayy for pointless spontaneity. Boo for one more inbox to clear.
Parenting ourselves. For the first time, more babies are being born to American women over 40 than to American teens. Don’t listen to men in the comments – these are both reasons to cheer. Because women are choosing themselves first, and waiting until they’re really, really ready to have a kid. This is a win for everyone.
Getting stoned. You don’t know James Ortiz, but you love him already. And now, he’s up for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar. Ortiz who? The voice and puppeteer of Rocky, Ryan Gosling’s five-legged alien buddy in Project Hail Mary. Puppeteers never get acting credit. This guy, he made us cry. Thumbs down all round!
Skipping videos. It’s 2026 and James Charles is still problematic. We thought those grooming allegations landed him in jail. But here he is, on Insta, berating a laid-off Spirit Airlines employee for sending him her GoFundMe link. Instead of donating, or even politely refusing, he made a Reel asking her to get another job. Let’s say it again: Bye, sister.
Saddling up. Step back, therapy dogs; we’re coming for LA’s Mini Therapy Horses. Wait. Is the horse mini or the therapy mini? Both, turns out. They have miniature horses at the farm, which are trained to engage with patients at hospitals and stand on their hind legs and give high-fives. Two Broke Girls’ goals locked in.
Reading smut. Janitor AI, which is somehow not a Roomba-setting tool, is an interactive erotic chatbot targeted towards women. It generates porno via text. Data says that some 2.5 million users have signed up. But the platform is run by three men. Would using this app make you a bad feminist? Why even bother, when Ao3 exists?
Booing The Boys. Can no one write a respectable finale anymore? Stranger Things ended on a blah note. The Boys is determined to out-blah them. Their finale had more than 12 plotlines to wrap up and only 60 mins to do it. Good actors are wasted on mediocre scripts, and they’ve joined the trolling. Antony Starr is liking and commenting on every Reel dissing the season.
Deleting albums. Are there any Drake listeners left in this economy? We thought Kendrick Lamar had banished him to the Khia asylum. But Drake has resurfaced with three albums and 43 songs in total. This is like getting an avalanche of drunk texts from that clinger you weren’t into, anyway. Fans say the songs are terrible. Chill out, Drake.
From HT Brunch, May 23, 2026
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