There’s a common belief that life will feel better once the next goal is reached.
Maybe it’s the promotion you’ve been working toward, the business you’ve been building, or the financial security you’ve been chasing. The promise is always the same: keep going now, and you’ll have time to enjoy yourself later.
Australian psychologist Patrick Marando says that mindset can come at a cost.
The Promise of Happiness After Success
“Many people spend their lives chasing success, believing that once they arrive at some future destination, they will finally be able to relax and enjoy themselves,” Marando tells HT. “Yet when that destination arrives, there is often another goal waiting.”
As Global Wellness Day highlights the importance of taking care of mental, emotional and physical health, Marando is urging people to reconsider the idea that wellbeing should be postponed until success arrives.
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Why does dedication turn into burnout?
He says many people who experience burnout are not lacking motivation. In fact, the opposite is often true.
“Burnout rarely occurs because people care too little. More often, it occurs because they care so much that they lose sight of their own limits,” he explains.
What starts as dedication can slowly become a habit of pushing through exhaustion, skipping rest and ignoring warning signs. For a while, it may seem manageable. Eventually, however, the pressure begins to show up in different ways.
“The body keeps a record of how we are living,” Marando says. “We may ignore our stress, suppress our emotions and push through our exhaustion, but eventually the body begins speaking through anxiety, fatigue, irritability, insomnia or burnout.”
Why anxiety may be a signal, not a weakness?
Marando believes anxiety is often misunderstood. Rather than viewing it solely as a personal flaw, he suggests it can sometimes reflect the reality of a life carrying too much at once.
“When the mind is constantly managing deadlines, responsibilities, expectations and pressure, it can begin to treat every challenge as an emergency,” he says.
He adds that many professionals struggle to fully disconnect from work, even after the workday is over. Constant planning, worrying and problem-solving can leave little room for genuine rest.
What is the connection between self-worth and achievement?
Another issue, he notes, is the tendency to attach self-worth to achievement. Many high performers spend years chasing goals without stopping to ask whether those goals are actually improving their quality of life.
“Many high achievers are motivated by an invisible sense that they are not yet enough,” Marando says. “As a result, each accomplishment provides only temporary relief before the next goal appears.”
He also points out that people-pleasing can contribute to exhaustion. Constantly seeking approval from others may look like dedication on the surface, but over time, it can create distance from one’s own needs and well-being.
How to find success without losing yourself?
For Marando, the answer is not giving up on ambition. Ambition can be healthy, creative and deeply fulfilling. The challenge is to make sure it isn’t driven by fear, guilt, or the need for constant validation.
“The most sustainable form of success comes from learning to respect your own limits,” he says. “Boundaries are not obstacles to achievement. They are what allow achievement to continue without damaging your health.”
At its core, his message is simple. Success should add to life, not take away from it.
“The greatest achievement is not building a successful career while losing yourself,” Marando says. “It is remaining connected to yourself throughout the journey.”
Disclaimer: If you’re struggling with anxiety, burnout, depression or ongoing stress, consider speaking with a qualified mental health professional. This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice.
