Marriage in India is rarely seen as a choice; instead, it is often treated as a compulsory milestone that every adult—especially women—is expected to achieve. Many assume this mindset was left behind decades ago, but even in 2026, the reality remains much the same. Christianez Ratna Kiruba, a doctor and social media influencer, in an Instagram post dated June 29, 2026, shared her experience of being shamed and forced by her parents when she refused to get married to the person of their choice.
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Parental pressure for marriage
We often assume society is the biggest force pushing women towards marriage, but in reality, that pressure frequently comes from their own parents. Christianez revealed that even being a doctor, one of the most respected professions, didn’t shield her from intense parental pressure to marry. She said, “I didn’t want to get married to someone my parents chose, and I simply said ‘no’.” But a simple ‘no’ led to an invisible hand behind her neck that most Indian women have to deal with. Her parents used to force her to meet matches without her consent, and when she used to reject them, she was shamed for her standards. In fact, she was abused by her parents in a way no one can imagine.
Christianez alleged that the money she earned from her internships, which was deposited into a joint account she shared with her mother, was withdrawn by her parents, leaving her financially dependent. She was kept under constant surveillance so that she could not escape the pressure of marriage.
After she secured admission to a postgraduate program, Christianez alleged that her parents tried to have her removed from college by claiming she was a drug addict and mentally unstable. She was eventually able to leave the situation and now lives independently in Assam, away from her parents. She has since cut all ties with them.
Why are women forced to get married?
In many Indian families, marriage is often seen as the solution to every problem, with parents treating it as the ultimate milestone for their children. Christianez argued that marriage is not like buying a dress. “If you don’t wear a dress, it won’t hurt its feelings,” she said, emphasising that marriage involves real people and lasting commitments. It’s unfair to end up with a woman who doesn’t want them.
For many Indian parents, marriage is seen as both a responsibility and a societal obligation—one they feel compelled to fulfil, sometimes even at the expense of their children’s happiness. Christianez underscored this by recalling what she says her father told her, “My status in society matters more than your happiness. I could even kill you if you shame me in our society.”
She captioned her post, stating, “What I am trying to say here, from my experience, is that familial coercion is often not just mental pressure; it is a systematic breaking down of a person who said no to change it to a yes. I wonder if anything at all of a human being will be left over after people who claimed to love you treat you this way to ensure their status in society is maintained.”
Internet reaction
Her post sparked a wider conversation online about parental pressure and the societal expectations surrounding marriage for women.
One of the users commented, “This has to be one of the most horrifying things I’ve read about a so-called ‘ordinary’ Indian family. Much love, dear friend and may you love an ever more fulfilling life! The one goal I have as a parent is to make my child strong enough to say no – first to me, then to anyone else who dares demand her yes.”
Another user commented, “Indian parents are seriously the worst enemies of their children. They act as if they own them. Before anyone attacks me. You might have great parents, and that’s good for you, but the majority of people I know, even in their 40s, have handled such toxicity, which affects their career, relationships and overall mental and physical health.”
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them. This article is for informational purposes only.
