It’s a fortnight to Valentine’s Day as I sit down to write this. And my inbox is already inundated with messages about special V Day dinners, discounts on designer stores, offers to buy overpriced flowers and the like. This happens like clockwork every year; and it drives me mental every time.
So, this time I decided to devise my own anti-Valentine guide for those of us who choose not to celebrate with exorbitant tat and overpriced restaurant meals. Here is what you can do instead, in no particular order of importance.
Instead of spending an insane amount of money ordering roses for your significant other – prices tend to multiply around this time – on this day, do something far more thoughtful. Spend a little more and put in a standing order of a nice bouquet to be delivered to her/him every week. That way, you can express your love the entire year around; not just on one arbitrary day. And as a bonus, your home will have fresh flowers all year.
Booking a nice dinner and getting all togged up to go out is all very well. But it doesn’t stand up to the commitment involved in planning a three-course meal at home, featuring all the favourite dishes of your partner. Splash out on an expensive champagne, secure in the knowledge that it will still cost less than that overpriced wine at the restaurant. And the best part of this is that you can simply slope off to bed after – no hanging around waiting for an Uber.
If you are into buying gifts then don’t restrict yourself to such twee options as chocolates and strawberries. Invest in something more meaningful. Sign up for a cookery or pottery class that the two of you can do together. Gift yourselves a spa day so that you can relax together after a nice couple’s massage. Or plan something completely out of your comfort zone – like a trekking or rock-climbing adventure – to keep things lively.
Do something that indicates that you have been paying attention to your partner. If they love art, organize a museum tour for them. If they are foodies, then a guided food walk will hit the spot. If they love the outdoors, then take them on a picnic in the most scenic spot you can find. But whatever you do, choose something that makes them feel seen.
Most importantly, use this occasion to recalibrate your relationship. Make a pact to go out on your own – no kids, no parents, no friends – at least once a week. Have a digital detox for a couple of hours around dinner time at home every day, so that you can completely disconnect and just focus on each other. Take a pledge to do one thoughtful thing for the other person every day. Promise to take mini-breaks with each other to keep the relationship fresh and make new, happy memories. This way, you won’t just be celebrating love on one particular day – but all through the year.
From HT Brunch, February 07, 2026
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