Dating requires a lot of energy, and finding the right partner for yourself adds to that stress. So when one spots red flag behaviour, it makes sense to stop seeing the person so they don’t waste any more time. However, the tough part is recognising the patterns, because they often come with hindsight.
A February 24 Instagram post by dating and relationship coach Sabrina Zohar highlighted a red flag behaviour that should make you run far away from the person you have started dating. She explained a pattern of avoidance, the exact order in which it unfolds in dating scenarios, and why it is a red flag you should run from.
‘Run if someone does this in dating’
Explaining the red flag pattern, the relationship coach warned, “I want you to run as fast as you can when you see somebody doing this behaviour in this order.” According to her, at first, when you start dating a red flag person, they will be ‘just so amazing.’ She added, “They’re texting you, they’re communicative, they seem so incredible, and everything almost feels too good to be true.”
However, things change when you go on dates. She explained, “Then you go on a date, maybe a few dates, and everything seems good until there’s one little thing that sticks out to you. It could be something minute, it could be a small conversation that you’re having, and all of a sudden, you notice the shift.”
‘They text less, are less communicative’
The relationship coach noted that at the first sign of discomfort, you will start to notice that ‘they text less, they’re less communicative, they’re not making the plans as quickly, and it’s taking longer and longer between every single response.‘
This hot-and-cold behaviour then progresses to you receiving texts like: “Sorry, been busy,” “I left my phone at home for 15 hours and couldn’t respond,” or just avoiding making plans with you altogether.
She noted, however, that when you try to reach out and say, “Hey, I’ve noticed a shift, is everything okay?” they take no accountability. “All of a sudden, it becomes about something that you said or did, without them taking any ownership of the fact that they never brought it up,” she added.
The coach revealed the reason she wants people to run from this behaviour pattern: “This person was chasing feelings, and it was never about you. If it were genuinely about you, they would have had a conversation with you and would have had an open and honest dialogue so that you could work through it.”
“But when somebody starts to pull away and act differently, and you feel like you’re going on an FBI case to figure it out, then we’ve already spent way too long on this person who didn’t deserve it,” she warned.
According to the relationship coach, these are the red flag behaviours to look out for early and run from: “If someone won’t take ownership and instead plays games.”
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