Identifying a child’s inattention early is one of the most important steps in protecting their self-esteem, confidence, and emotional wellbeing. When inattention goes unrecognised, children are often labelled as stubborn, careless, or “not trying,” which can deeply affect how they see themselves. Understanding the difference between inattention and simple stubbornness helps parents respond with empathy rather than frustration. (Also read: Love without limits: How digital dating is redefining romance in India )
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dhruv Rawat, Clinical Psychologist at Lissun, shared insights on how parents can distinguish between true inattention and stubborn behaviour in children.
How to tell if it’s inattention or just stubbornness
“A key sign of true inattention is that the behaviour appears in every setting,” Dhruv explains. “The child struggles to sit, focus, or follow instructions not just at home or school, but also during tuition, playtime, or social situations. This shows that the difficulty is neurological, not situational. In comparison, stubborn behaviour is typically selective, a child who is simply oppositional may behave differently with parents, teachers, or relatives.”
Dhruv adds, “Children with inattention also want to pay attention, but their brain networks do not support consistent focus. They try, but they get distracted, forget steps, or lose track of the task. A stubborn child can do the task but chooses not to. Another hallmark difference is the response to consequences. Inattention does not improve simply with scolding or punishment, whereas stubborn behaviour usually changes once clear consequences are applied.”
Key signs of early inattention to watch for
He also points out that inattention is often inconsistent. “Some days the child may be hyper-focused, and on other days, they may struggle with even simple work. This fluctuation is unintentional and reflects how their attention circuits function. Children with stubbornness, on the other hand, are consistent with their will, if they don’t want to do something, they refuse every time.”
“Finally, early inattention is often accompanied by forgetfulness, losing items, difficulty finishing tasks, and impulsive behaviour,” Dhruv explains. “These are not signs of laziness but outcomes of the underlying brain processing differences. Recognising these signs early allows parents to support the child with understanding, structure, and timely professional help.”
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
