As you text each other, perhaps seeing where things go after matching on a dating app or connecting through a mutual friend, you feel a vibe and start making plans together. Then, suddenly, out of the blue, there is a radio silence on the other end. You are left wondering what went wrong, perhaps even blaming yourself or questioning whether you said something wrong.
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An honest conversation about why things are not working out can offer some reassurance. But when that conversation never happens, you may feel unsettled. Before you internalise it, let’s understand the psychology of ghosting.
Aashka Mistry, clinical psychologist at Bhailal Amin General Hospital, Vadodara, revealed why some people leave and cut off contact without offering an explanation or saying goodbye.
Why do people choose silence?
Ghosting is not just a communication problem; it can also have psychological roots. Expressing how you feel, admitting that you have lost interest or telling someone that a relationship is not working can be uncomfortable. The expert described that these conversations require vulnerability, which some people may prefer to avoid.
“Sometimes avoiding that discomfort seems easier than facing it,” she said.
It requires emotional maturity and accountability, as being honest is not always easy. This is why the psychologist believed some people choose to leave and disappear instead. They may feel vulnerable about how the other person might react when they express their feelings, so they avoid having to deal with that response.
Can getting ghosted affect future relationships?
Mistry agreed that repeatedly getting ghosted impacts your future relationship.
On an individual level, ghosting brings a sense of uncertainty, and you may interpret the silence as a judgment of your self-worth.
In future relationships, you may be more guarded, anxious about communication or hesitant to be vulnerable.
You may then become avoidant. To protect yourself from experiencing the same hurt again, you may even start ghosting others or keeping them at a distance.
How can you communicate better?
The expert believed that instead of ghosting, you simply need to be honest. There is no need for a perfect explanation or perfectly chosen words. Being honest in your own way can provide enough clarity for both people to move forward.
She remarked, “As a psychologist, I believe that difficult conversations do not always need solutions; sometimes they simply need two people willing to show up and listen.”
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
